Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He felt like a one man threesome
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
