He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
