so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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