after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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