Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
