They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
