I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
