Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
