My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
