Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
