OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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