i already hear my dad disowning me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize