Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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