We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
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Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
