toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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