You really coming over, don't trick.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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