my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
