hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
