i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
