Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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