walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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