At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
