just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
