And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
