Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
