you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
