Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i would punch a child for taco bell
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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