dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
