ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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