Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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