I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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