I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize