remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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