Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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