Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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