We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
