i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
