I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
