Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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