i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You've changed since you got that strap on
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
