Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
