UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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