capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This house was built for laser tag.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
