dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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