I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
