how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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