We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
