I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize