I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
