did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
