You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
