he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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