He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
