In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize