do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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