Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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