so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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