Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
