I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
