its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
