i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
