If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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