Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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