great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
