If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
this is an emotional support booty call
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
