If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
